Some of the online groups I belong to have a tradition of each person selecting a “word of the year.” It causes each of us to think about what we want to bring into our lives in the coming year. The word I chose for 2015 is “Trust.” Oh boy, did I get what I asked for.
I have learned to trust myself and the Universe through a hundred different lessons – some of them joyful, some of them painful.
I want to tell you about the lesson (or lessons really) in trust that were gifted to me as Circle of Light Unlimited came into being in my new studio.
When I started looking for a new home, I was primarily looking for something with a fourth bedroom or an extra den-like area: some sort of dedicated space where I could see my clients and maybe teach some classes. Little did I know what the Universe had in store for me.
I had always thought it would be cool to live in Village of the Arts near downtown Bradenton, a beautiful live-work community, encouraging artists, restauranteurs, and healers to come together and bring their offerings to the community. So (with my then fiancé) I set out to find if there were any houses that would meet my needs. The place that caught our eyes was a two-story building that was obviously in the process of being renovated.
We got the phone number of the owner from the building permit. Three phone calls, two months, and a break-up later, the kids and I got to see the inside of what was to become our home. We fell in love.
While there was still some work to be done, our soon-to-be landlord, a general contractor, had laid down wood floors; updated the electrical and plumbing workings; installed new fixtures; windows, and doors – in short, just done a really beautiful job. The problem? He had done such a nice job that the asking price for the rent was way out of my budget.
My heart was heavy with the asking price, but set on living in this beautiful home in this great location. I thought; I prayed; I crunched numbers. I trusted. I trusted my heart and my gut that it would be okay. I called the owner and talked him down a bit on the price. This would be our new home!
It took a few months for the finishing touches to be put into place. During that time, there were many times that fear would ask me, “What the hell are you doing?!”
Every time I began to doubt, something would happen to assure me that it was all going to work out – that my trust was not misguided. I had record turn-out for my Reiki classes. A song would come on while I was dancing that would restore my faith. Money would appear unexpectedly.
The big day was finally drawing close. I had already signed the lease and handed over the security deposit, but before we could move in, I needed to pay the first month’s rent. The difference between what I had been paying for rent and the new amount was substantial. I had no idea how I would pay that difference that first month. A few days before it was due, I started to panic.
What the hell was I doing? Where could I scrape that money together? I had already borrowed quite a bit. My GoFundMe campaign had been a complete bust. What was I going to do?!
Then a calm settled over me. The trust that I had asked for at the beginning of the year showed up in force. I knew that my need would be met.
Less than 24 hours before that rent payment was due, I got a call from a friend. She is somebody I have done meditation and healing work with, but I would not have said that we were close. At 11 pm that night, she offered to loan me the money I needed.
I was blown away. I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. What I had believed in my head about the law of attraction and trusting in the Universe had just come into my life in a very tangible way. I was able to integrate what I had cognitively understood as the power of trust into an embodiment of trusting with my whole being.
And that wasn’t the end of the lesson.
I had decided to check out the price of movers for loading and unloading. I was surprised how affordable it seemed to be. Well the day before the move, I found out why. When the company I had booked called to confirm, I figured out that while they had estimated that it would take their guys six hours for the move, the price they had quoted me only covered 3 hours. Ouch.
So I canceled the movers, forfeiting my deposit, and made some desperate calls for last minute help for a weekday move. My dear friend Monica and her son Ben came through. Some other people could come later in the day. And… somehow this turned out to be a good thing – my daughter was suspended from school for showing up late to detention.
So we loaded up the U-Haul, and headed to the new house. Now the new house doesn’t just have stairs, as Monica put it, “It has STAIRS!” Stairs which we had to haul heavy furniture up. Just at the point of our mutual despair, an amazing human being rode past on his bike and offered to help. Al was a Godsend. He stuck with us through another truckload. After I had fed my stalwart crew, he even serenaded us, accompanying himself on my mother’s old guitar.
In that moment, my new studio full of friends and music, I looked around the room, and tears of gratitude filled my eyes. I am so very blessed.
And I trust I will continue to be blessed.