The only thing to fear…is ourselves?

This week I am preparing to teach Moksha Magick classes. Moksha Magick is a practice near and dear to my heart, but I realize that because of the focus on sexuality, many people might not be interested in exploring it. That’s okay. Everyone has a different approach and experience when it comes to a wide variety of healing practices.

Many of the people receiving this newsletter embrace the practice of Reiki and other forms of energy healing whole-heartedly, but you may have friends or family members who perceive these practices as fraudulent or even morally wrong.

I am not here to convince anybody that they should change their spiritual, religious, or ethical beliefs.

I AM here to help people face their fears. And for many certain aspects of sexuality is a big one. In fact I don’t think I have met anyone yet that doesn’t need some form of sexual, including the many sexuality educators I know (myself included).

For most of us, our sexuality has become separate from ourselves. We remove it and put it in a corner, and then call upon it only when “appropriate.” When we begin to heal, we automatically start to close that gap, whether the focus is on sexuality or not. When we bring that intention as a focus, that healing comes much more quickly.

There are other aspects of ourselves which many people are afraid of as well. Things like intuition, psychic abilities, emotional intimacy, and expression of our emotions are just a few.

These things are often much scarier than the boogie man, spiders, enclosed spaces, or even public speaking. These things are part of ourselves, and in order to become a health, whole human being, they MUST be faced.

So whether you take a Moksha Magick class, or not, I invite you to explore your fears within yourself…whether that is with me, with another practitioner, or on your own.

 

A Pointless Exercise in Disney-ism

Yesterday I took an “ebb day,” a day to relax and do nothing but self-care. I slept in until noon. When I woke up, I poked around on the computer a little bit. As I was playing on Pinterest, I saw a list of 51 Disney Baby Names for Girls. For some reason, as I looked at some of the names, I became incensed…I mean sure, you expect Elsa, Ariel, and Aurora…but Maleficent, really? Silvermist? Vanellope? And while most of them were from animated feature films, two were from Enchanted (which was mostly live action) and one was from a Disney Jr. show (Sofia the First). I don’t know why this hodge-podge bothered me so much, but it did. So for some reason, I spent the rest of the day compiling my own list.

I kept it to three classic Disney characters, and the rest were from animated feature films produced by Walt Disney Animation Studios or Pixar. Some were popular names in obscure films (like Olivia from the Great Mouse Detective or Amelia from Treasure Planet) and some are obscure names from the most treasured movies (like Dory in Finding Nemo and Ursula in The Little Mermaid). There are old-fashioned names (Edna, The Incredibles) and blatantly modern ones (Riley, In and Out).

They’re all (in my unimaginative opinion) real names. I found  along the way that I’m not the only one that has a traditional view of names. In 2016, of all girls born in the U.S., 67% shared names from the list of the 1000 most popular that year. So only 23% had one of the tens of thousands of other names chosen that year. Of course I really shouldn’t make any judgements on that count. Hey, my kids are named Elizabeth, #9 from her birth year (2000) and James, #17 in 2004.

I did take a more creative approach when it came to who belonged to the name, besides people and animals, I’ve included a tree, a car, and a couple of robots.

I’ve always been fascinated by names. As a kid, I would read baby name books for fun and make lists. I’m still not completely sure why I’m sharing this list of 53 baby names (or grown-up names for that matter), but here it is in chronological order…

Starting with Disney’s classic stock characters:

Minnie, Daisy, and Clarabelle

Minnie Mouse (first appeared in Steamboat Willie in 1928), Daisy Duck (first appeared in Mr. Duck Steps Out in 1940) , and Clarabelle Cow (first appeared in Steamboat Willie in 1928)

Then 50 characters from animated feature films:

Anastasia

Anastasia Tremain (Cinderella, 1950)

Alice

Alice (Alice in Wonderland,1951)

Wendy

Wendy Darling (Peter Pan,1953)

Aurora and Flora

Princess Aurora and Flora (Sleeping Beauty,1959)

Marie

Marie (The Aristocats,1970)

Marian

Maid Marian (Robin Hood,1973)

Bianca

Miss Bianca (The Rescuers,1977)

Penny

Penny (The Rescuers, 1977), Penny (Bolt, 2008)

Olivia

Olivia Flaversham (The Great Mouse Detective, 1986)

Rita

Rita (Oliver and Company, 1988)

Ariel and Ursula

Ariel and Ursula the Sea Witch (The LIttle Mermaid, 1989)

Belle

Belle (Beauty and the Beast, 1991)

Jasmine

Princess Jasmine (Aladdin, 1992)

Nala

Nala (The Lion King, 1994)

Willow

Grandmother Willow (Pocahontas, 1995)

Esmeralda

Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 1996)

Meg

Meg/Megara (Hercules, 1997)

Jane and Kala

Jand and Kala (Tarzan, 1999)

Jessie

Jessie (Toy Story 2, 1999 and Toy Story 3, 2010)

Audrey

Audrey Rocio Ramirez (Atlantis: The Lost Empire, 2001)

Celia and Roz

Celia Mae and Roz (Monsters, Inc., 2001)

Amelia

Captain Amelia (Treasure Planet, 2002)

Lilo

Lilo (Lilo & Stitch, 2002)

Dory

Dory (Finding Nemo, 2003 and Finding Dory, 2016)

Maggie

Maggie (Home on the Range, 2004)

Edna, Helen, and Violet

Edna E. Mode, Helen Parr/Elastigirl, Violet Parr (The Incredibles, 2004)

Sally

Sally Carrera (Cars, 2006, Cars 2, 2001 and Cars 3, 2007)

Doris

Doris (Meet the Robinsons, 2007)

Colette

Colette (Ratatouille, 2007)

Eve

E.V.E (WALL-E, 2008)

Tiana and Charlotte

Tiana and Charlotte La Bouff (The Princess and the Frog, 2009)

Ellie

Ellie (Up, 2009)

Bonnie

Bonnie (Toy Story 3, 2010)

Merida and Elinor

Merida and Elinor (Brave, 2012)

Anna  and Elsa

Anna and Elsa (Frozen, 2013)

Honey

Honey Lemon (Big Hero 6, 2014)

Joy and Riley

Joy and Riley (Inside Out, 2015)

Judy

Judy Hopps (Zootopia, 2016)

Destiny

Destiny (Finding Dory, 2016)

Moana

Moana (Moana, 2016)

 

And just to prove that yes,  I’m just that much of a name geek, here is the list in order by popularity for girls born in the U.S. in 2016:

Olivia (#2) Charlotte (#7) Amelia (#11) Riley (#22) Audrey (#39) Ellie (#43) Violet (#47) Anna (#51) Aurora (#66) Alice (#76) Willow (#96) Jasmine (#122) Ariel (#140) Daisy (#190) Anastasia (#193) Destiny (#203) Maggie (#242) Jane (#280) Joy (#351) Bianca (#386) Helen (#408) Eve (#456) Colette (#469) Marie (#583) Elsa (#623) Tiana (#628)  Jessie (#643) Penny (#693) Nala (#783) Celia (#838) Wendy (#854) Bonnie (#896) Belle (#934) Sally (#1178) Rita (#1184) Marian (#1215) Flora (#1261) Elinor (#1370) Judy (#1537) Doris (#1762) Merida (#1966) Edna (#2335) Minnie (#2662) Moana (#2973) Honey (#3234) Clarabelle (#4265) Ursula (#4764) Kala (#4888) Lilo (#4888) Esmeralda (#5495) Roz (#6009) Meg (#6486) Dory (# 15,174)

While there weren’t too many surprises for me right at the top, I was surprised at how high Jane came in. And while they weren’t the most popular, I didn’t expect other old-fashioned names like Doris and Edna too do so well. Even though it’s a nickname, I would have guessed that Meg would rank higher than Clarabelle  and Moana. Even so, it was still listed ahead of Dory at the bottom of the list.

And OMG! Maleficent came in at 15, 499 in 2015 (couldn’t find any stats from 2016), just behind Fauna (another character from Sleeping Beauty) at 15, 354. Vanellope was at #3282 (that came in ahead of Ursula and Esmerelda – names I had actually heard of) in 2016. Sorry, no Silvermist

Feeling Out Loud!

Once again, having a variety tools as well as a wonderful support system have lead to healing and growth, and I am grateful.

The kids and I have been getting settled into our Image of a pile of boxesnew place over the last month. Now the rest of the boxes needing to be unpacked are all piled in my room! All in all it’s feeling pretty good.

We’re in a condo now. This is so not the kind of living situation I’m used to/generally desire. I’m not a fan of apartment living, and I’m definitely not a fan of HOAs. The biggest consolation was the pool. I love the water!

I had only been in it once for about 15 minutes during the first week. It closes at sunset. On a Friday evening I decided to just slip in there anyway and swim some laps by moonlight around 9 o’clock last night. It was beautiful!

I only got about 5 minutes in before a neighbor decided to take the law into her own hands. She came up and ordered me to get out.

I was still angry about it this morning.

I get triggered when people create or enforce rules for no other reason than to make someone else feel small and themselves feel powerful, but I didn’t know what the root cause was.

I felt myself getting madder and madder over the next two days, seemingly out of all proportion, so I gave myself permission to let it out. I cried and screamedImage of closed eye and kicked and punched with all my might. The release went on for something like 20 minutes. It was obviously linked to something far deeper than the bitch at the pool, but I don’t know what.

I felt much better than I had, but I was still at loose ends. It seems like I missed an opportunity. I asked for some guidance from a dear friend and mentor, Freyja Inanna. She told me, “Go into meditation and connect with that emotion…feel where it comes up in your body and let it fill you and then travel back to the earliest time you felt that way…whatever comes up is perfect. Feel it and release it! Just follow the thread.

Later that night, during a guided meditation about emotions, I stopped the recording and went to my 6 year-old self. I stroked her hair and told her outloud that it would be okay. I thanked her for standing up for her little sister and told her that we could all go together to find mommy and daddy for a minute. Then I took them back to the nursery and got them cookies and juice and dried little Niki’s tears. It felt good to give myself what I needed, to honor that little girl’s feelings and needs. That process was healing, but it still wasn’t done.

I knew it was time to let go of the hurt brought up by my nosy neighbor. I tried writing and speaking affirmations of letting go, but the process still wasn’t complete.

I started having disturbing dreams and would start shaking out of nowhere. Last Saturday I turned to my feeling wheel to help me see what was going on with me emotionally. Not surprisingly, the words that popped for me were mostly in the wedge related to fear. I spent time with the fear, giving it place. I reached out to a friend, but we kept playing phone tag all day.

Image of the feeling wheel (looks like a pie with the biggest pieces labled fear, anger, disgust, sad, happy, surprise and related feelings divided within those bigger pieces)
Image source: http://i.imgur.com/tGgCSCN.jpg

That night I went to a Moksha Magick gathering. Our intention for the ritual that night was creating harmony in our relationships. The magick we created that night shifted the relationship with my neighbor and with myself. I still have work to do with the little girl who felt so dismissed and overpowered. I imagine it will have a lot to do with expressing the emotions that have been buried for so long.

I am thankful I have such effective tools and so many knowledgeable and compassionate people in my support system. The combination has given me the courage to heal by feeling out loud.

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The Power of Choice

In 2015 the word I chose to work with for the year was Trust. For 2016 the word was Power. In both cases the Universe complied with my implicit request and brought me lessons and gifts suffused with those qualities.

Image of three open doors with the word choice superimposed over them.

My word of the year for 2017 is Choice. It was a natural progression from learning about Power as I had the previous year. By the end of last year I was embracing my own personal power in ways I hadn’t even come close to before. I was able to do that in part with help I had from the Breakthrough Performance Program and through the most powerful healing modality I have ever encountered: Multi-Dimensional Awakening. I also had many other helpers and experiences along the way, so that by the end of 2016 I was feeling like a Goddess with the world at my fingertips.

And then a test came crashing down on me that had me doubting that power. It called on me to embrace my own choices, contrary to the manner in which I had been trying to avoid them my entire life. You see, one of the ways I have traditionally given away my power is by letting others influence my choices, if not, then just turning over the choice to someone else altogether.

So when my car literally fell apart on Christmas Day, I had a choice. I faced that same choice continually for a month: do I panic or Image of the underbelly of a car with a pipe rusted throughdo I trust?  Well…I did both. The choice was presented over and over for the month I was without my own vehicle. At the end of January, with the help of a generous benefactor, I was able to choose a reliable vehicle to carry me and my family where we need to go. Then the hard part set in.

I continued to vacillate between trust, panic, and depression. I lost that battle for a while, choosing to stay in a place of helplessness and hopelessness. I isolated myself from those who care about me. I avoided activities that I knew would bring me comfort. It got to the point that I forgot to trust or claim my power altogether. I was so overwhelmed by the thought of making the wrong choice that I became paralyzed and chose not to decide…which of course is a choice in itself.

Then came a turning point. It wasn’t just one thing, but a series of events in which I chose to love myself and reach out for help. I chose a yoga class when a friend invited me and was reminded of the power of women gathered together in sacred space.Image of a woman seated in a yoga pose I asked sister-of-my-heart, Ashley Rae, for a Theta Healing session that helped identify where feelings of powerlessness related to money originated. I participated in a Moksha Magick ritual where the group intention was nourishing ourselves and breaking free of constraints we had placed on ourselves or accepted from others. I was reminded by a new practitioner just coming into her power about how we do not have to lead from a place of perfection, but a place of self-acceptance.

And so I chose again and again. Sometimes I chose myself, and sometimes I chose the fear. After every choice came another choice, another chance to stay or come back into balance.

Today I am choosing to trust. Today I am choosing joy…I don’t know what I’ll choose tomorrow, but that’s okay because after tomorrow there will be more chances to choose.

You have those same choices and chances. You have that same power within you. You can choose community or isolation. You can choose to do things that bring you joy or things that dig you deeper into a place of pain. And then you can make another choice and another and another.

The Power is yours!

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Thank You to My Teachers, Thank You to my Students

Someone asked me recently why I want to do the work I do.

What a great question!

My answer was that I have had some incredibly profound, healing, and spiritually connective experiences in my life, and I want to help other people have similar revelations and heal at that same deep level. I want to guide people to truly experiencing the Divine presence in their own lives here and now.

A friend and colleague of mine expresses this sentiment as wanting to help others achieve what he had to figure out for himself. For me, I had some incredibly gifted and spiritually-connected teachers and guides along the way. I want to show my gratitude for all of those people by passing on what I have learned and experienced.

I also want to express my thanks to my clients and students who have opened their minds and their hearts to what I have to offer. You are allowing me to do what I have been called to do. When I see you healing and learning so profoundly, I feel blessed to my very core.

Thank you students. Thank you teachers.

Of course, the most influential teachers in my life are my parents, Mike and Juanita Kissell. They raised me with every bit of love and caring they knew how to give.

John McIntosh introduced me to guided meditation when I was a student at Penn State Altoona. For years, every time I lead a meditation, it was his voice I heard.

Carla Mary Russell was my first Reiki Master. She opened the door to the world of healing and energy work.

Richard Fiallo also taught me Reiki, and even more importantly he created and introduced me to Moksha Magick. I had never heard of sacred sexuality, much less dreamed that it would become my life’s passion.

Rev. Dr. Michael Milner and Rev. Suzanne Champlin, now of the Flowering Heart Center initiated me as a Oneness Blessing Giver and opened the door to seeing God in a whole new way.

Sister-of-my-Heart Ashley Rae introduced me to Theta-Healing and more self-care and self-empowerment practices than I can count.

Guru Aum Jah taught me about myself in profound ways, sometimes painfully and sometimes most joyfully.

Lauren Gale shared Access Bars with me and continued to open my world.

Freyja and Michael Inanna guided me to my own vulnerability and power with Multi-Dimensional Awakening. I can’t even say enough about how safe and supported I felt during this process.

I know there will be many more teachers and many more students to come, so to all of you – teachers and students, past, present, and future, I express my deepest gratitude.

Namasté

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Healing Session Pricing and Packages

While some modalities can work quickly, even instantaneously, most of us (including me) are not willing or able to go that deeply that quickly. Making a commitment to do the work over a period of time is the most common way my clients successfully achieve their goals.

Image: silhoutte of person sitting in lotus position with chakra points

While it is certainly acceptable to book sessions on an individual basis, I like to offer easy and affordable methods to keep the momentum moving towards your healing goals. Here is a summary of the pricing and packages available:

Reiki: $40 for 1/2 hour/ $60 for 1 hour/ $150 for package of 3 one hour sessions.

Access Bars: $100 for a 90 to 120 minute session/$250 for a package of 3 sessions

Guided Meditation: $30 for 1/2 hour/$50 for 1 hour/ $85 for package of 3 half-hour sessions, $135 for package of 3 one hour sessions

Spiritual Guidance: $30 for 1/2 hour/$50 for 1 hour/$85 for package of 3 half-hour sessions, $135 for package of 3 one hour sessions

Nurturing Touch: $30 for 1/2 hour/$50 for 1 hour/$85 for package of 3 half-hour sessions, $135 for package of 3 one hour sessions

Discovery Through Art: $60 for one hour/$150 for package of 3 one hour sessions (includes materials)

Discovery Through Movement or Song: $50 for one hour/$135 for package of 3 one hour sessions

Combo Pack – Discovery Through Art, Movement and Song: 3 session combo pack with each session focusing on a different area of healing through the arts: $140

Healing through Ritual: $250

The Ultimate Combo Pack: Explore each modality in its own unique session – get one hour-long session each of Reiki, Access Bars, Guided Meditation, Spiritual Guidance, Nurturing Touch, Discovery through Art, Movement and Music, plus an individually created ritual for only $500 – that’s a $220 savings! And you get to try EVERYTHING!!!

Call 941-753-5138 or send us an email to book your session!

Gift Certificates are Available!

Important Policy Note: Pre-paid healing session packages are non-refundable. All sessions must be utilized within one year of purchase. They may be transferred or shared with a loved one if desired.

 

Lessons of a Sick Healer

In the last several days I have learned some interesting lessons about being sick. The first day or two I was very frustrated! The depression, allergies, and cold I’ve been battling have been kicking my butt.

I am doing some serious healing work through Explosive Sexual Healing with my mentors Michael and Freyja Inanna. With their guidance, major breakthroughs have blossomed one  after another after another.


Sick Woman Sneezing into Tissue

So why did I get sick a few days after our most recent session?

Two reasons that I’ve recognized so far: one is that my body is telling me I need to slow down and rest, and if I don’t listen to the subtle hints, it will make me slow down and rest whether I like it or not. Okay, point taken.

The second reason I am feeling so crummy actually has me excited! I feel very strongly that it is time for me to learn to take my healing to the next level! I am 100% certain that the healing modalities I practice (Reiki, Access Bars, Moksha Magick, etc.) all have the ability to 100% cure any illness of the body, mind, or soul in an instant…but why don’t they do that all the time?

There are a lot of answers to that question, but one of the most prevalent is that we don’t let them. Why wouldn’t we let them? In many cases it’s because even though we want what we’re doing to work, we just can’t acknowledge deep down that it will.

As I have told my students and clients many times, we are POWERFUL beings! We can use that power to create miraculously powerful change…or we can use that power to block the powerful healing energy pouring through us.

Now on the surface, it seems like an easy decision to make: choose miraculous powerful change over blocking powerful change. Unfortunately for most of us, it isn’t that simple.
That’s why I always encourage my students to do whatever they can to help the person they are guiding towards healing into a receptive state.

And I’ve got to say, some of my students and colleagues are better at it than I am. Some people already accept the ability to change and heal at a deep, deep level. They are able to do this so profoundly that the trust they have in themselves and the Universe pours into the recipient and through that person’s blocks like magick.

Now, I’m not saying that I’ve never healed anything through energy healing. I certainly have! Either by myself or through the facilitation of others, I have gotten rid of headaches, insomnia, nausea, a constant post nasal drip I had for years, chronic fatigue, mental triggers, emotional wounds, and more. I’ve seen all sorts of similar healings with my clients. I’m also convinced that the hypothyroidism and chronic depression I’ve been treating with pharmaceuticals for years would be much worse without this healing work.

Picture of me with the words: Ask, Trust, Allow

But you know what? I’m done! I am ready to embrace my full power and the healing of the Universe! I don’t know what it’s going to take to get me off those meds and into that state of health that I know is possible, but I’m sure it’s coming! I am ready.

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Leadership Through Vulnerability

“Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” – Brené Brown

Man walking tightrope over sharks

On January Second, 2015, in front of witnesses, I looked directly into my own eyes and told my reflection, “I love me,” in a clear, compassionate voice.

While that seems like a simple act, I’m sure that anybody who has tried it will agree that doing so is anything but easy. To make that proclamation, especially in the presence of others, normally would leave me feeling very vulnerable. However, in this case, I felt empowered instead. I felt empowered because I had allowed myself to show my vulnerability rather than hiding it. In that sharing, I was set free and found that rather than weakness, displaying my vulnerability led to strength.

Over the past few years, I have come to appreciate that allowing our vulnerability to be seen can be an incredibly empowering experience for myself and those around me.

There were two experiences in the last eighteen months that really brought home to me that expressing my vulnerability as a leader empowers and heals both me and the members of my community who witness it.

The first experience centered on a ritual my partner of the day and I created as a tool for healing. I created the ritual as part of my healing work regarding sexual trauma. I had made a huge breakthrough near the beginning of December in which I did some powerful writing around forgiving the girl who was so scared and confused and ashamed about the situation surrounding the rapes. However, in the weeks that followed I came to realize that I had not forgiven all of me; I had not forgiven my adult-self who had made questionable decisions and chosen harmful paths in an unknowing result of what I experienced.

It was important to me to have witnesses and people to hold space during the ritual. Sharing struggles and triumphs is a human need. That need is a major reason why ceremonies like weddings and funerals are such important religious and secular events. I wasn’t thinking about the greater context at time I invited my friends. I just wanted to share my fears and celebrate my growth and healing with those I hoped would acknowledge and accept me.

In the ritual, I shared with my friends some of the specific things I had done for my healing and how utterly lost I had been for the past several months: the hours spent crying, the days spent shaking and rocking, the inability to take care of my children in the way I wanted to. Expressing those fears was an important part of taking back my power and my confidence in myself.

My partner then took us through a meditation about seeing forgiveness not as releasing guilt, but in accepting ourselves and our choices.

After the meditation, I took a jar and put in some important symbols representing different parts of my development. Looking back on it now, I think the most important item I placed in that jar was a piece of pyrite (fools gold). pyriteIt represented my fear that people perceived me as gold, but if they really knew what was inside me, they would be disappointed and see me as a fraud. I was a healer and a leader in my spiritual community, after all. What if people knew how dysfunctional I had been in the previous few months? What if people knew how full of doubt and fear and shame I was? Part of my intent in that ritual was to bury that notion and to begin to perceive myself as gold.

After I buried the jar, the others formed a line and took turns telling me how they saw me and appreciated me. I was brought to tears, not only by the beauty of the words, but by their sincerity. I wouldn’t have been able to accept their words as  genuine if I had not shared my fears first.

That ritual was a seminal moment in my life.It helped me to move back into my roles as healer, teacher, and leader with confidence.

About a year later, I was hosting a Moksha Magick ritual at my studio. It had been a long day. There had already been two other events at Circle of Light that day. The previous group had run late. Two people arrived early for the Moksha group, and I hadn’t had a chance to eat yet. My partner and I had just had a tense moment. I was hungry, tired, and on edge.

We went ahead and ate our dinner while the discussion topic was introduced. As the discussion wrapped up, we began to get ready for ritual. My partner met my eyes and asked if I was in a space to participate. The question stopped me in my tracks.closed eye I sat down and burst into tears. The old shame rushed up to greet me. What kind of leader was I? The gathering was in my space. I had suggested the day and time. I was the high priestess, for heaven’s sake!

Then something monumental happened: I was able to think clearly enough to ask myself what I would do if it was someone else in the same situation. I realized that I wouldn’t hold it against another person at all, even from a host and a leader. I would assure them it was okay and ask if there was anything I could do to help. I was able to express this revelation to the small group and then express what would help me without waiting for one of them to ask.

What I wanted was to just be held and nurtured. Instead of creating the ritual we had originally intended, we created a beautiful, powerful ritual that perfectly met the need of the moment.

I realized later what a blessing it would have been to have witnessed leaders in my own life show this level of vulnerability in a similar  situation. I was blown away. What a gift! A gift I gave myself and those who shared that space with me.

Brené Brown says, “When we meet someone, vulnerability is the first thing I look for in you, but it’s the last thing I want to show you in me.” In other words, we admire those who are able to embrace “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” However, we fear others will judge us when we do the same.

That really doesn’t make a lot of sense, does it? It’s a paradox. Maybe we admire those who are willing to show their vulnerability because we want to be able to do the same. We allow our fear of weakness to hold us back from embracing our greatest strengths. Perhaps just recognizing this double standard we have for others and ourselves will allow us to begin exploring the expression of our own vulnerabilities. In doing so, we begin to courageously accept our own strength.

 

 

 

 

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Breaking Through – Part II

breakthroughopening

In my last post, I wrote about how the Breakthrough program helped me to further develop my sense of trust in the Universe and myself.

I just want to take a moment to share how the last week of the program and the final concert continued to change my life.

During that final week of the program, instead of meeting just once a week, our group of singers and seekers came together five times. Mick and Tess gave us an amazing amount of support, expertise, and genuine caring. I felt so loved and cared for by the entire group that just experiencing that support was worth the entire program.

On the day of the concert we gathered together and shared with each other our intentions for the evening. I spoke my intention of facing my fear to sing and share from an authentic space instead of wearing my performer’s mask.

When my turn came to share my song, I also seized the opportunity to share about what it meant to me. Admitting that my parents were human and made mistakes made me extremely nervous…so just giving that little speech about taking risks was a risk in itself.

And then I sang my heart out, communicating with song, with words, with movement what my very soul wanted to communicate.

happy

Our songs were chosen for us, first by Mick, and then eventually by the group. Thank you Mick, thank you everyone for taking care of me so well, and gifting me with this song that spoke to my soul so strongly. They gave me Happy, originally recorded by Leona Lewis. Thank you, thank you dear ones.

If you would like to hear what I had to say and sing, click here and enter the password nikisings

The next Breakthrough concert is on March 20th at the Unity Church in St. Petersburg.

If you are ready to break through and let yourself shine, don’t miss out on this fabulous opportunity!

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Breaking Through

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it tblooming roseook to blossom.” – Anais Nin

2015 was a breakthrough year for me. I have faced a lot of fears. I had been on three months of mental health leave from my full-time job. A few days into the New Year, I started back part-time and eventually transitioned to permanent contract work.

I started the year in the arms of my fiancé. A few months later, following some really hard discussions and decisions, we parted ways.

NYE 2015
Elizabeth, James, and me in our new home/healing center New Year’s Eve 2015

I learned to walk my own path again. My clients and students reminded me of what I know and what I’m capable of. I moved with my kids across town and expanded my business. As with any new business, we’ve struggled to make ends meet and sometimes despaired about being able to do so. At the close of 2015, I was ready to embrace life’s ups and downs, trusting that this will be a year of growth and healing. I am ready to breakthrough once more.

I have used a lot of tools for healing and personal growth during the last year: Reiki, meditation, yoga, Moksha Magick, Oneness Deeksha, art, journaling, mental health counseling…the list continues on. They all have value, and I am blessed to have them all in my toolbox to use in whatever combination makes sense in the moment. I have shared about most of these in one way or another with my students,  clients, and blog readers.

Towards the end of 2015 my dear friend Monica introduced me to a new tool. It’s called Breakthrough. It is a workshop developed to help people of all backgrounds and levels of experience in their healing and personal growth through song performance. Since October 24th, the fabulous Mick and Tess Pulver have guided a group of nine seekers to greater understanding of ourselves, where we have been, and where we want to be. For someone who loves to sing and is actively healing and growing, this was a perfect fit! With the guidance of Mick and Tess, I have continued to learn to embrace trust in all aspects of my life. I have also become aware of a fear I didn’t even know I had:  letting my true self break through the mask I tend to wear.

breakthrough

More than that, I have to share how much I admire some of the other people on this journey with me. I love to sing. I try my best to stay active in my healing work. For some of the other participants, singing in front of other people is very scary, and doing the deep work needed to really heal is downright terrifying! Yet they’re doing it! They are my heroes! It is such an honor to witness the healing and growth of everyone in Breakthrough and to share my healing and growth with them.

The culmination of all our hard work, play, and healing is a concert on January 9th at 7 pm at the Unity Church in St. Petersburg, FL. If you would like to be a part of an uplifting evening of song and hold space for some amazing performers as they share their breakthroughs, please join us!

If you are ready to do some breaking through of your own, click here for information on free introductory sessions and registration for upcoming workshops.

I wish you a blessed 2016, however you choose to breakthrough.

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